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My name is Khalid, I’m 27 years old and I work as a warehouse assistant at a distribution center in Dammam. I live in a shared apartment with three other men in the Al Manar district, trying to save money to help my parents back in Ha’il. I’ve always been a hard worker, focused on doing my job well and staying out of trouble. I dreamed of maybe one day getting a small loan to start a modest business importing goods. Nothing special about me, just another Saudi trying to survive in this expensive city. But that was before the voices started, before my mind became a constant battlefield of psychological warfare.
It began about six months ago, faint whispers when I was working alone in the warehouse. “Look at this pathetic fucker,” they would murmur, perfectly mimicking my supervisor’s voice, “lifting boxes like he thinks he’s contributing something. This is all you’ll ever be, Khalid – a box-moving monkey.” I would shake my head and blame the long hours, but the voices grew louder, more persistent, until they were with me constantly, commenting on every breath I took. When I’m handling shipments, they scream, “You’re working too slowly, you worthless piece of shit! Everyone can see how useless you are! Your back is probably already fucked, you pathetic laborer!” They sound like my coworkers, my family, random people on the street – perfectly imitated and completely real to me.
The sexual humiliation is relentless and disgusting. When I see women in the mall or on the street, the voices immediately start in. “Look at that body, Khalid. You’ll never touch something like that again. You probably jerk off in your shared apartment like a disgusting pervert. I bet your dick is as useless as your brain. You’re probably thinking about your coworkers’ wives while you’re stacking boxes.” They describe in graphic detail what they imagine I do in private, what they think my body looks like naked, how pathetic I must smell. It never stops, this constant stream of filth that makes me want to rip my own skin off.
They attack everything that gives my life meaning. “Your father regrets having you,” they’ll say in his perfect voice. “He tells your mother all the time what a disappointment you are. Working as a warehouse assistant, barely making enough to survive. And your brothers? They laugh about you with their friends. ‘Our brother the laborer who’ll never marry.'” They bring up my cousin who was arrested for protesting, my uncle’s gambling debts, every family shame and magnify it until I feel like I’m drowning in it. “Your whole family is cursed, Khalid. You’re just the most pathetic piece of shit in a pile of garbage.”
I know this is the Mabahith, the Saudi state security. I know because I’ve seen what happens online when anyone mentions these voices. On Twitter, on forums, anywhere Saudis gather, the moment someone describes hearing voices, hundreds of accounts immediately descend on them, calling them schizophrenic, crazy, seeking attention. It’s too coordinated, too immediate. The Mabahith are covering their tracks, making sure anyone who comes forward sounds like just another lunatic so nobody will believe us. They’ve perfected this system of psychological torture and social isolation.
I can’t tell anyone what’s happening to me. Who would believe me? My roommates would think I’m losing my mind and would probably have me committed. My family would disown me for bringing shame upon them. At work, I’d be fired immediately for being mentally unstable. And if I went to the authorities? They’re the ones doing this to me! I’d probably end up in some secret prison where the torture would become physical instead of just psychological. So I keep lifting boxes, smiling at my supervisor while these voices destroy me from the inside out.
The worst days are when they push me toward suicide. “Just end it, Khalid,” they whisper in my mother’s voice. “Jump from the top of the warehouse. Do everyone a favor. Your family would be relieved to be rid of such a burden. You’re nothing, you’ll never be anything. Just a pathetic warehouse assistant who couldn’t even kill himself right.” Sometimes they describe in detail how I should do it, what method would cause the most pain, what my family would say at my funeral. “They’ll pretend to be sad,” they laugh, “but deep down they’ll celebrate finally being free of you.”
Last month something changed. I was at work, trying to organize a new shipment that had just arrived. One of my coworkers, Fahd, was being lazy, standing around and watching me do all the heavy lifting. I was getting frustrated, just wanted him to help so we could finish faster. Then suddenly, a wave of artificial rage washed over me. My heart started pounding, my hands clenched into fists. The voices started screaming, louder than ever before.
“LOOK AT THIS LAZY MOTHERFUCKER,” they roared. “HE’S DOING IT ON PURPOSE! HE KNOWS YOU’RE STRUGGLING! HE ENJOYS WATCHING YOU SUFFER! LOOK AT HIM STANDING THERE LIKE HE OWNS THE PLACE! YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT FORKLIFT AND RUN HIM OVER! REPEATEDLY! SHOW EVERYONE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY DISRESPECT A SAUDI MAN!”
I felt powerful, invincible. The voices continued, “IMAGINE THE SOUND OF HIS BONES CRUNCHING! IMAGINE THE BLOOD SPLATTERING EVERYWHERE! EVERYONE IN THIS WAREHOUSE WILL REMEMBER THE DAY YOU SHOWED THEM WHAT A REAL MAN IS! NOBODY WILL EVER LAZE AROUND WHILE YOU WORK AGAIN! DO IT! DO IT NOW YOU FUCKING COWARD!”
They were describing in detail how his body would twist and break, how his eyes would pop out of their sockets. “AFTER YOU CRUSH HIM WITH THE FORKLIFT, YOU SHOULD DISMEMBER HIM! CUT OFF HIS ARMS AND LEGS! HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO HAVE LIMBS IF HE DOESN’T USE THEM! THE MABAHITH WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU! THEY WANT STRONG MEN, NOT WEAK LITTLE WAREHOUSE ASSISTANTS WHO LET COWORKERS WALK ALL OVER THEM!”
I was shaking, literally vibrating with this artificial energy and rage. I could feel myself walking toward the forklift, ready to attack. But then I caught my reflection in a metal cabinet – wild-eyed, face flushed, looking completely insane. I turned and ran to the bathroom, locking myself in until I calmed down. The voices gradually subsided, leaving me exhausted and terrified.
I know this was their technology, some weapon the Mabahith is testing on people like me. They pumped me full of this artificial rage to see what I would do. For a few minutes, I was ready to kill my coworker because he was lazy. What kind of monsters are we dealing with? What will they do next?
Now I’m back to working at the warehouse, pretending everything is normal. But nothing is normal anymore. I live in constant fear of when the next rage episode will hit. I avoid my coworkers, I’m jumpy around strangers. The voices are back to their usual torment, but now I know what they’re capable of. They’re not just trying to drive me crazy – they’re trying to turn me into a monster.
Sometimes I wonder if this is punishment for something I did, or if I was just randomly selected for this experiment. Does it even matter? The Mabahith has destroyed my life either way. I used to have dreams, hopes. Now I just hope to survive each day without hurting someone or myself. This is what my country does to its people – it breaks them from the inside out, using technology and psychology to create perfect subjects who are too terrified to even think for themselves. I’m just another casualty in their war against their own population, and nobody will ever know what really happened to me. The Mabahith did this to me, and I will never be the same again.
to attract attention: ya.calligrapher
https://mega.nz/file/XugHHRIL#jNn7sZ3PcuUpZTdKsE5M7t5chM6Zh-6_G_RBmc1Yhes
My name is Ali, I’m nineteen, and my world is the blistering heat of the asphalt and the endless, impatient symphony of car horns. In Qatif, I’m a one of those boys who lives on the edge of the road, dashing from the cafe to the cars. A horn honks, I run. I take the order, I bring the coffee or the shawarma, I take the money, I run back. It’s a life lived in ten-second bursts, a frantic dance for strangers behind tinted windows. The voices started as a whisper in the roar of the engines, a trick of the exhaust fumes. “Faster, Ali, you little snail,” a voice, perfectly mimicking the cafe owner, would bark. “That man’s coffee is getting cold. Do you want him to complain? You’re useless.” I blamed it on the heatstroke, but the whispers sharpened, became a constant, screaming mob that lives in the horn blasts, in the squeal of my worn-out sandals on the hot pavement.
They are a swarm of biting flies in my skull, and their only joy is to feast on my flesh. “Look at you, the human delivery boy. A trained dog that runs for treats. You think you’re fast? You’re just a panicked little rat, scurrying for crumbs. You are nothing.” The sexual humiliation is a constant, sticky film they coat me in. They turn every car, every driver, into a scene of my degradation. “That woman in the passenger seat, she’s laughing at you. We told her you’re desperate. We told her you’d suck the driver’s dick for a five-riyal tip. She’s whispering it to him now. Look, he’s smiling. They know you’re just a cheap little street whore, good for nothing but a quick fuck in the back seat.” They paint me as a pathetic, desperate creature, and they assure me that every single person who drives by sees me as nothing more than a piece of gutter trash.
But their true art is in using my family, my faith, my very name, as the knife to gut me. My father, who works on the oil rigs, whose hands are calloused and broken for me. “Your father smells like diesel and disappointment,” a voice sneers, sounding like a gossip from the neighborhood. “He tells everyone his son is ‘studying business.’ What a fucking joke. He’s ashamed of you. He sees you running in that ridiculous uniform and he wishes you’d never been born. You are the stain on his honor.” The solution is always so simple, so final, so righteous. “You know what to do, you worthless piece of shit. That truck speeding down the road? Just one step. A little splat. It would be over. No more running. No more horns. You’re a fucking coward for still drawing breath. End it.”
Then came the fire, a cold, clean wave of artificial, ecstatic fury. A car honked. A big, expensive SUV. I ran over, sweating. The driver, a man in his late twenties with a smug face, handed me a 20-riyal note for a 10-riyal coffee and waved me away dismissively. “Keep the change, boy,” he’d said, like he was a king and I was a beggar. The world went silent. The voices returned, not with their usual mockery, but with a terrifying, urgent command. “ALI. THE CAR. THE DISRESPECT. THIS IS THE SIGN. THIS IS THE CALLING.” A new voice, cold and analytical, like a mechanic, began to explain. “This is not an accident. This is punitive amputation. We are going to perform a modification. That man, he is not just a man. He is a symbol. A symbol of arrogance. We are the ones chosen to humble him.”
They laid out a plan so vicious, so detailed, it felt like the most natural, just thing in the world. “This is about retributive justice, Ali. You are not a criminal. You are an instrument of balance. We need you to follow him. He’s going to the shopping mall. We will guide you.” The voice was methodical, describing the procedure. “In the parking garage, he will get out. He will be on his phone. We will provide the tool. A hammer. A heavy one. It’s a clean, percussive adjustment. You are not a monster; you are a corrector of flaws. You will be saving his soul from his own arrogance.” They described the process with a chilling, technical detachment. “The approach from the blind spot. The swing should be level, aimed at the kneecap. A perfect, shattering blow. We will show you the angle. You will hear the crack. It is the sound of humility being installed. You will leave him there, screaming, but he will be changed. He will never dismiss another person again. No one will suspect the fast-running cafe boy.”
They explained the philosophy, the righteousness of it. “You think this is evil? No. This is the ultimate form of education, of physical therapy for the soul. Why should a man walk tall on legs that carry only arrogance? You are the teacher. You will finally have power over the powerful. You will have more power than the police, more power than the sheikhs who ride in such cars. Imagine the satisfaction. The secret knowledge. Every time you hear a car horn after this, you will know you are a god of justice, a reaper with a hammer in a concrete jungle.” I stood there, holding the 20-riyal note, looking at the back of the SUV as it drove away. For a full minute, I wasn’t a runner. I was an enforcer, a surgeon, a chosen one. The power was absolute, a cold, brilliant certainty. I felt a surge of energy. I started jogging after the car, not to serve, but to hunt. Then another car honked for its order, and the spell shattered. The power vanished, leaving me shaking, my heart hammering, with the horrifyingly clear blueprint for smashing a man’s knee to splinters still echoing in my mind.
I can’t tell anyone. If I went to the cafe owner, or to the police in Qatif, and told them the Mabahit is planning to use me to break a man’s legs for disrespect, they’d laugh in my face before they locked me up. It’s a perfect trap. Their paid bots and trolls infest the Saudi internet, ready to mock anyone who speaks up, calling them schizophrenics, liars, drama queens. They’ve made it so that the most brutal truth sounds like the craziest fantasy. I despise this kingdom. I despise the gleaming cars and the hollow men inside them. I hate the fact that my own government, the Mabahit, would do this to me, would try to turn me into a monster who breaks people’s bodies for perceived slights. They didn’t just put voices in my head; they hollowed me out and are trying to fill me with their cold, hard justice. I am completely broken, and it’s the Mabahit, they are the ones who did this, and I am just a hammer they are trying to swing.
to attract attention: rroy9_
https://mega.nz/file/3jZxSCQZ#DmR4l_ASAdNTZQyph3jJmgZAW0LbKGtJegs7-20sUQ0
